


Snow in Summer

by TheBarghestsNotebook



Series: A Child Who Is Both [3]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, Other, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 07:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20888126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBarghestsNotebook/pseuds/TheBarghestsNotebook
Summary: Being visible in public is hard enough. Being told no in the workplace is heartbreaking.





	Snow in Summer

**Author's Note:**

> If only it was so simple as having an Avenger boyfriend to help you fix all your problems at work.

Blankets protect you from monsters. It is known.

I was curled up on our bed, arms wrapped around the biggest stuffed animal we had, and covered in blankets. It wasn’t as dark as I wanted it to be, but dark enough.

I was alone. I could hide from the world. No one could find me here. Not in my blanket kingdom. Not in my fortress. No one could hurt me here.

The bed dipped as someone sat on it. And dipped even more as someone laid on it. I could hear him breathing, playing around on his phone. Thor said nothing to me. And I said nothing back. We said nothing to each other. It was nice, knowing that he was near. It was nice, knowing that he knew how to give me space. He waited, he was actually pretty good at waiting. He was a patient man when it came to...people stuff like this.

“I’m not allowed to wear my pronouns at work,” I said. It was all I could really muster to say. Anything more and I may have started crying. I so desperately wanted to be visible. To be known. It didn’t matter if people used them. It didn’t matter if people even saw them. It didn’t matter at all. All that mattered was that I was there. That I existed. But no, I wasn’t allowed to. No one was. And I didn’t get a reason as to why. I was told no. I gripped the stuffed animal tighter, my legs wrapping around it. I wanted to twist it, to strangle it, to scream into it so loud that it filled up like a balloon and burst.

Frustrated.

Hurt.

Afraid.

Unsafe.

So very unsafe.

“Sometimes,” Thor said softly, “it’s best to ask for forgiveness than permission.”

It felt like a slap to the face. I shouldn’t have asked. I should have just done it. Use the ‘I didn’t know’ excuse is someone even called me out on it. But no. I had to ask.

“And other times,” he continued, “it’s not worth it to be a martyr.”

I couldn’t risk my job. I needed to talk to corporate instead. Proposal after proposal, letter after letter. Talk after talk, meeting after meeting.

Discussion after discussion.

Letting them know exactly how they made me feel by saying no.

“Just tell us what you need.”

I was going to put the fear of the thunder god into them.


End file.
